Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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