Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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