We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
