I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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