ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
