But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
