I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
