Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
