She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
