I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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