Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize