At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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