Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off