hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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