it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
