Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
please don't ironically join a cult
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