You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize