she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize