Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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