OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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