plz talk dirty to me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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