So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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