Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
