Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
