so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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