I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
