Kiss
Puke
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Boobs speak an international language.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
