You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
