go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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