She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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