I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this hospital has no fireball
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
