i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
