this beer tastes like vomit already
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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