ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize