please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
