I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
