I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
