Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love you.
Bad choice
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
