He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
