i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize