and i looked up. we had an audience...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
