I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
