She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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