This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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