It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
