I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
