Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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