It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
