just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
