There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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