that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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