Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
