He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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