Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
