she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
