my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
