ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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