I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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