I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
false alarm, still single
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
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