don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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