He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
