I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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