I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
