'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
